daily quote
What is confidence? The stereotype of confidence is someone who seems to be totally secure with themselves, and doesn’t care what other people think… but doesn’t that sound awfully like the same actions as a lot of insecure people? So… which one are you, confident or self conscience? or maybe its just we are all self conscience, just some hide it better than others. Like me for example, I know I am not fat but i don’t feel comfortable in my own skin, and I have friends who are some of the most beautiful girls ive ever seen and I think if i looked like her than guys would like me more and I would be so much more comfortable with myself. And just when I think that, it seems like seconds later they are bashing their bodies and hair and pores and EVERYTHING. Its unbearable, because all i can think is wow I don’t even look as good as them and they are bashing on themselves. And that is where my insecurities stem from, things like that and how guys judge girls i have heard some very harsh criticism about girls’ physical appearances from some of my guy friends and it is terrible to think about. And maybe all those beautiful friends of mine think that I am prettier than them, i haven’t the slightest clue why they are so self judgmental, but then again they probably say the same about me. With that on the table, I have come to the conclusion that there is really no reason in being self conscience if even the prettiest girls you know are too, because if everyone lives hating themselves they’ll live loving no one fully because every great relationship starts with self-love and self respect quite honestly. Furthermore, I have also come to the conclusion that I am going to start being healthier, 95% because I want to care for myself and be healthy and the other 5% because I want to feel the results, see the results and be more comfortable in my own skin so I can gather more of my own confidence and overcome this self- judging phenomenon we call life. Or at least teen life. And yes, I believe you should still do stuff for your physical appearance and keep it up but don’t become consumed in it like i did and let it affect your social disposition or your personality because that is not worth it I promise you.
I have the most random thought patterns in the world.. and I just realized it today. I was on my other tumblr, the one I go on and like my friends are aware of that I have, and I was just thinking about my friends ironically and then out of nowhere I thought about a dwarf horse… this kinda always happens to me. Also, I was thinking earlier about my children, i dont have any but I was thinking about what my children are going to look like and all this stuff and how I want them to look. And I am also paranoid about my child having schizophrenia, which I know is rare but I just am ever since I watched this episode of Oprah in health class about this mental disorder and it scares me. Anyways I know I am not writing that much or as much as I usually do, but Im exhausted and no one reads these anyways<3
It is so cliche. I mean sure I say that because I haven’t experienced the “great parties” and all relationships. But, I mean I don’t feel the urge to be the main girl in high school I could really care a less. Maybe that is because I was always in that “group” in middle school and I was so happy, but things have changed, just like everything does. Its just a natural occurance, change. And no one can stop it, no matter how much they want to. We all wish that people wouldn’t change, usually for the worse but even that we can not control. Some of my bestfriends have changed so much, I do not even feel like I know them anymore, to the point that it is awkward to run into them in public. It might be high school like I said, because those people that were my friends in middle school are still obsessed with what other people think of them. I am not saying I do not care what people care about me at all, in fact it is the opposite I am really self- conscience but I do not let it control who I am going to be, I internalize it and I don’t let it affect my personality dramatically like my friends do. But, I am sure it still has an impact on how I act and who I hang out with in some way or another. I know internalizing it is not the best idea because it will eventually build up and create something way worse, but for now it works. No one knows this side of me, not even my closest friends because I am afraid they will judge me or make fun of me. I know what youre thinking, well then theyre not good friends. But they are. It is me who is the bad friend, I am kind of the “funny girl” and the best is with guys im the “good friend” but nothing further, story of my fucking life. But that why I am afraid to act serious in front of my friends, because I am afraid they will think im kidding and just blow it off and never take it seriously, so this is how I deal with it. From now on, I will just tell you everything on this blog even though no one reads them its my way of getting it out there because I feel like I need to tell someone before I go mad, even if its only a computer screen. It works for me.
alright so my friend who is younger than me just started going out with a guy like 19 days ago, and they have already done everything but sex… and i usually dont judge people from what they do with their boyfriends, but this was her first boyfriend and like her first kiss and everything and i am the only person she told about this.. and i am probably the worst person to tell because I can not give her the reaction she wants.. or the reaction i think she wants. because i want to tell her she is going too fast, but she will not listen to me because I have never been that “far” in a relationship, so thanks a shitload for telling me.
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me:
do you KNOW who i am?
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freshman:
no
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me:
good, neither do i.
(via fuckyeahprettygirls)
im too tired to rant, I do still have a lot on my mind.. but not enough complete thoughts to piece anything substantial together. I woke up early this morning to help some of my friends out and i am absolutely shattered. grr. sorry, maybe later when I always hit my energy high… around 2 in the morning:)
This always happens to me =[
